who am i?


Anjelle
Complicated

calendar
<< October 2008 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 01 02 03 04
05 06 07 08 09 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31
where am i?
Check Them Out!

*These blogs have been updated in the last 12hours

You've seen me in the light. Now check out The Other Side
talk to me

   

Things I Write About
Processing
Quickie
Emotional
Events
Hubby
State of Mind
Love
K
Joy
Family
Something Silly
Blog Notes
BDSM
Friends
Lass
Bratling
Jae
Creative Writing
Tarot
P.vert
Arts & Crafts
Pagan/Witchery
Little
Monkey Love
History
Slowing Down
Poly

If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here:
Contact Me
credits
designed by: els
edited by:
BLOGDRIVE
TEMPLATES

Blue Confusion - from blogskins
Artwork Stephanie Pui-Mun Law

eXTReMe Tracker


Monday, October 06, 2008
Further News of the C-Word

Mum is very upset. Dad has pretty much given up, and acts like he would rather just die now and have done with it.

The doctors have given him about five years. They're not sure if they will even be able to do chemo because of problems with Dad's heart and lungs.

I don't really know what to say any more. I don't know what to feel. I certainly have no idea what to do or how to deal with this, much less how to help my mother. And she so desperately needs help.

It's not my responsibility, and I know that. It doesn't make me feel less helpless.


Friday, October 03, 2008
Pieces of My Forever

I feel strange today. Like none of this is real. Today isn't real. The world I'm seeing isn't real. I am not real. I know this feeling. I remember it. It isn't a bad thing, it's just... Strange.

I want to wander off into the trees and disconnect. It's a strong time to do personal work like that. To explore the metaphors in my mind and soul. To step away from the 'reality' around me, and find something really real.

Instead, here I am at work.

And I want to carve one man into my flesh. Not in pain, but in love. And I want to show another the feel of energy flowing and building in your hands. Not the physical, but the real. And I want to gather all of those dear to me tonight and laugh. I want to be surrounded.

I am more than myself. I am part of everything.


Thursday, October 02, 2008
Sunrise

I've taken the first step out of my misery, and it is this: I am not done with him.

The things I said, the ideas I expressed, none of it was with the intention of being done with him. Somehow I forgot that in the aftermath.

It was pointed out to me last night, and while I acknowledged it as a thought I already new, it was also fresh. Fresh like the morning sun, after spending a too-long night deep in a cavern. Fresh like skin after showering away the grime of a tough day.

He may be done with me. That is the hard part yet to come. But for now... For now I have taken the first step, and that is enough.

 

Today is a fresh, new day, and I will make the most of it.


Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Broken Heart (His)

Can't think. Here's more lyrics. Robert Downey Jr this time.

In love with a broken heart
You fell in love with a broken heart

Love in these modern times
There'll be someone new every night
With some other love yarn
To wrap my harms around
No one else can understand
(Hold me) I can't hear you
(Trust me) not about you

In love with a broken heart
Think I leave today, I cover it all this way
You fell in love with a broken heart
Every earthly breath, a lifeless testimony
In love with a broken heart
(Don't you know)

Love in these modern times
I'll become what your first class said
I'm no light weight, I'll find time to throw us down
You'd feel my medicine's side effect
Fink I'll grab some magazine
(I know you) never seen me
(promised you) you believed me?

In love with a broken heart
-think I leave today, I cover it all this way-
You fell in love with a broken heart
-every earthly breath, a lifeless testimony-
You fell in love with a broken heart
-another lifeless testimony
(and it shows)

Oh please machine, let's keep this terminal clean
I'll see your face in every cloud
Down a Dewar's laugh out loud
Fly girl shouts to keep it down
Paddy's wagon draws a crowd

(Save your days) I don't save days
(Any way) I think...leave days

God grant me the strength to accept the things I can change
And change them
(just for the last time)

(Show me) I cant miss you

In love with a broken heart
Face in every cloud, makes me laugh out loud-
You fell in love with a broken heart
Shouts to keep it down, wagon draws a crowd-
In love with a broken heart
(Don't you know)
Lifeless testimony

You fell in love with a broken heart
(And it shows)
Lifeless testimony

In love with a broken heart
In these modern times, what your first class said,
Time to throw us down, medicine's side effects


Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Have I Mentioned?

We do all remember that when I love, it is forever, right?

I'm not doing well. I want him. I want him so much every inch of me aches. But I'm hiding it. Why? Because I can't have him. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Anyway. Just thought I'd throw that out there, since I've been so quiet.


Next Page