What is bursting out of the earth, also sprouts from me. Life. Change. Renewal.
It is nearly spring once more, and the energy is building for that first rush. It's time to prepare to push out of the silent darkness, and into Being.
I was laid off from my job.
I loved my job. I love the people I worked with -- both the employees and the clients. I enjoyed the actual work. I believed in the mission of the organization. It broke my heart to have to leave all of that. Nothing personal, they say, just trying to balance the budget. I went home and cried.
Rebirth is painful.
Yesterday, I took a walk with my son. A flash of yellow caught my eye, and I looked down to the dirt. The first bulbs are not just sprouting, they are flowering. Out of the darkness, comes light.
Today, I have more time and energy to dedicate to my creative ventures. I have more of myself to give to my home, my family, and my pets. I will blossom and this new incarnation will be even more beautiful than the last.
Last week, I got an email from someone I haven't spoken to in more than five years. I can't remember if I was even dating my Husband the last time I spoke to this person. We had a lot of catching up to do.
Every time I tell someone about Hubby, and our relationship, I fall in love all over again.
Weight settles on my shoulder. The slight bite of talons reaches through cloth to touch my skin. Later, I'll find thin scratches where they shifted. As wings settle against feathered body, I turn my cheek into the warmth. Delicate and soft as satin, with texture like brocade. The smell... Is warm milk, old straw, and the dusty scent of tree bark.
Seriously? Seriously. I feel bad for the kid and all, but I have a larger problem, here. This 'Watch List' is supposed to keep us "safe," whatever that means, but all it takes to bypass it is a misspelling? Seriously? What, exactly, is the point in keeping a list of names? And, if you were smart enough to hide a weapon, wouldn't you be smart enough to change your name?
I... I mean, I just... I'm speechless. Lets all change a few letters in our names and really fuck with "security," eh?
In the fall, I brought up to my husband the possibility of starting a garden in the front of our house. We don't use half of the lawn space, and the grass needs replanted anyway. I am not a fan of grass at it's best. Our lawn does not represent the best.
I had done some reading on kids and gardening. Keeping plants alive has never been something I'm good at. I would love to learn along with my son, and find something we can do together. I look at it as a teaching opportunity. And it's not just the physical sowing and weeding, it's about being outdoors. It's getting in touch with the earth, and away from all the technology that eats up our time and happiness. Together, perhaps we can learn something of patience, and the joy of simple and slow.
I've thought about it all winter. To avoid the hassle of digging, we'll put in a raised bed. Sometime early in February, we'll go to pick out seeds. I'm looking forward to this. It's one more step away from the frenzy, and into the steady world I aspire to. One more calm creation.