who am i?


Anjelle
Complicated

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Things I Write About
Processing
Quickie
Emotional
Events
Hubby
State of Mind
Love
K
Joy
Family
Something Silly
Blog Notes
BDSM
Friends
Lass
Bratling
Jae
Creative Writing
Tarot
P.vert
Arts & Crafts
Pagan/Witchery
Little
Monkey Love
History
Slowing Down
Poly

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credits
designed by: els
edited by:
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TEMPLATES

Blue Confusion - from blogskins
Artwork Stephanie Pui-Mun Law

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Thursday, January 29, 2015
I am Lost

I'm so. damn. fucking. lost.

I think I asked for help, but I don't remember. Maybe I didn't. Maybe I did, and it just doesn't matter because the person I asked is lost too.

I want someone to lead. I want direction. I'm so tired of finding my own way.

I'm so tired of trying to be strong.

Posted at 07:39 pm by Anjelle
Illuminate

Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Pieces of Peace

Sometimes, when my mind won't quit,
When I'm a chaotic mess of Thought and Emotion,
I go here
For the quiet.

Her stitches speak a language I can understand.
The images create a space I can relax into.

Someday, I hope to own a piece of her cloth. I want to hold it in my hands.

Maybe the texture will hold me as well as the thoughts.
Comfort, in cloth.
Spirit Cloth

Posted at 07:00 pm by Anjelle
Illuminate

Saturday, January 17, 2015
Relationships

A teenage girl I know commented on an image from The Notebook with a caption that went something like "Forever Love -- It is real." Her comment? "I would love for something like that to happen to me." It irked me. So I wrote a response.

A relationship that lasts a lifetime isn't something that just happens to you. You don't stumble into it. You work hard for it. Every day. You start working before you even meet someone, and you don't stop.

Learn to communicate. Not just talk, but actually getting across what you mean. Without blaming. Without accusation. Owning what is yours and accepting that's the only part you can change. Asking for what you need, even if you're afraid of the answer.

Be you. Really you. Know who you are. Know what you need, and what you can compromise on. Not every attractive person who likes you back is going to be a good match. Be willing to accept that. Also be willing to accept that not everyone is going to like you, and that's ok. If it's going to last, you can't hold back.

When you have a problem, solve it. You're going to disagree. You're going to have fights. You're going to hurt, cry, be angry, want to leave. Sometimes, they'll feel that way too. No one is perfect. Work through it anyway.

It's worth it.

Posted at 03:27 am by Anjelle
Illuminate

Monday, January 12, 2015
Mending Foundations

We talked today. Just about all day, really.

We talked about why, and how to fix it. We talked about what we need, and when. We talked about who we are, and who we might be.

Where we might be going.

We talked about hope. Loss of hope. Holding on to hope. Sharing hope. We talked about trust, and regaining trust. We talked about hurt. Healing. Working at it.

We talked about fixing what's broken. We talked about building something stronger.

It was rough. It was raw. And it was worth every ache, if we can get through this.

Posted at 08:24 pm by Anjelle
Illuminate

Sunday, January 11, 2015
Why I Stare at the Screen

Sometimes I just... Don't want to do anything.

I want to be a bump on a log. A pebble in a cave.

Some days I want to just not exist for a while.

Life is hard. Stress messes with me. Winter messes with me. Hormones mess with me. Relationships mess with me.

I want to cuddle, but I feel claustrophobic. I want to make love, but I'm not aroused. I want to worship, but I feel no reverence. I want to go out, but I don't want to see anyone. I want to be in nature, but nature is cold and damp and unfriendly. I want to talk to my friends, but I don't want to reveal anything.

I think I'll just sit here.

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