who am i?


Anjelle
Complicated

calendar
<< March 2010 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 01 02 03 04 05 06
07 08 09 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31
where am i?
Check Them Out!

*These blogs have been updated in the last 12hours

You've seen me in the light. Now check out The Other Side
talk to me

   

Things I Write About
Processing
Quickie
Emotional
Events
Hubby
State of Mind
Love
K
Joy
Family
Something Silly
Blog Notes
BDSM
Friends
Lass
Bratling
Jae
Creative Writing
Tarot
P.vert
Arts & Crafts
Pagan/Witchery
Little
Monkey Love
History
Slowing Down
Poly

If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here:
Contact Me
credits
designed by: els
edited by:
BLOGDRIVE
TEMPLATES

Blue Confusion - from blogskins
Artwork Stephanie Pui-Mun Law

eXTReMe Tracker


Friday, March 26, 2010
Polyamory

I realized today that there's not really much here about what it is, exactly, that I'm ultimately after in relationships. A few things, here and there, with regard to individuals. The broader view is a bit vague.

I wrote a while back about a friend saying my expectations are unrealistic. I disagree. All I expect is that my lovers can get along. A friendship between folks with common interests is not at all too much to expect. In fact, these relationships would not work at all if there were not an underlying friendship and compatibility among all parties.

I'm looking for a family. Not a family with someone else on the side -- a unified family. I don't expect it to be easy. Every relationship comes with problems. More relationships, more problems. The benefits are greater than the difficulties. Just as a parent does not love one child less than the other, I do not seek to place one relationship second to another. Every member of the family is sacred. Losing anyone hurts. I will work equally to meet all needs. I expect the same care and commitment from each partner, and I give back what I receive. And then some.

Hubby and I are in a pretty strong position to take on new relationships. We know our jealousy triggers. (Most of them. Growth and change means new discoveries.) This makes it easy for us to avoid those triggers. Contrary to popular belief, jealousy is usually not about other people. It's about something missing. I get jealous when I am not getting my needs met, and this has little to do with what Hubby may be doing with anyone else. I've been jealous of his work. I've been jealous of a dog. It's not about work, or the dog, but about what was missing in our relationship during those times.

I don't expect relationships where jealousy never rears it's head. I don't believe such relationships exist. I do expect that my partner(s) will not let it rule their decisions. When it comes up, we'll talk about it. As a team, we'll figure out what the problem is and how to fix it so that everyone is satisfied.

I have a lot of love to give. And, as I've recently become aware, I have needs that Hubby can't fill. Needs that neither of us would want him to even try to fill. I have a lot to offer to the right person. There's a big future ahead of us. A lifetime. That's what I'm looking for.

It's not for everyone. It works for us, though.

Posted at 02:27 pm by Anjelle



Leave a Comment:

Name


Homepage (optional)


Comments




Previous Entry Home Next Entry