who am i?


Anjelle
Complicated

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Friday, April 03, 2009
Submission

Do not speak unless spoken to.
Do not move without permission.
If you must speak, or move, raise your hand for acknowledgement first.

These rules, while not practical for daily use -- what, with a child and jobs to attend to, along with friends, errands, chores, and other activities -- speak to my core.

Day-to-day, I am an independent, willful, stubborn creature. I refuse to ask for help unless I have no other choice. I want what I want, and I want it as soon as possible, if not yesterday. I'm selfish. Self absorbed, even.

Inside... Behind all of what is required for functioning in the world... I am his.

When it is possible, he controls me. I struggle to find the balance that allows me to handle the day-to-day while still submitting to him. So these times away -- these rare vacations from life as Myself -- are things to cherish. I can be the other girl. The one that is behind the stone carving of a woman. The one loathe to do so much as breathe without specific instruction.

Nothing without the approval of my Master. There is an amazing sense of freedom in that.


Posted at 03:19 pm by Anjelle



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