There aren't many people in this world that I trust absolutely. Most of them I expect to fade away. Run away. Slip away. (Is this the cause or the result of how terrible I am at keeping in touch?)
I've said before that when I love, it's forever. I care about people that I shouldn't even think about any more. I think of them, and wonder if they're ok. (In some cases I know they're not, and I wish them growth and healing.)
I'm scared, though. Always afraid that those closest to me will leave. There are some -- very few -- that I have faith in, but still doubt creeps in when I am weak. I still worry that I might do or say or be the wrong thing, and it will be over. I will be alone. (You'd think with all of the stupid things I've done that they've stuck it through, I'd be a little more confident.)
Somewhere along the way, I got severely screwed up. Somehow, someone convinced me that I had to be perfect to deserve love.