I have some things to say, but they're not solidified in my mind. If I start writing now, it will wander all over the place and not actually say anything. So I'm sitting here in silence, trying to settle on one topic. One point of choice. One idea that I want to convey.
While I sat here trying to fall into a groove, I realized that maybe that is what I need to write about today. Maybe I don't need to write about my flaws, my impatience, or the desire to learn and grow, or the work it takes to get where I want to be. Maybe today I just need to say that I'm thinking about all of that, and so much more.
I want to thank you for that.
Thank you, P. You challenge me. Every conversation, every thought that escapes your head challenges me. It's contrary to my comfortable little hole in the soil, and I love that about you. I love that you argue with me. You force me to look at myself in a different way. You help me to see my relationships differently. And by looking at all the angles -- even the ones I don't like -- I get to see a little better.
Thank you, D. You support me. I know we try not to dwell on the past, but I want to delve back just long enough to say that you have always done your very best to support me. When I said BDSM, you looked into it. When I cried, you held me and listened. When I had a problem, you offered a solution. When I was hurting, you tried to save me. Anything I want to do, I know that I can count on you to help me along.
Thank you, K. You feed me. I don't mean literal food, although you do that also on occasion. You feed my passion. You feed my drive. Our interactions -- even when not entirely pleasant -- give me the energy to get through every day. You fill me up and keep me vibrant. I'm pretty sure I glow just from talking to you. Life has color as long as I have you.
Thank you, to all my dear friends. You complete me. You fill my days and nights with smiles, and laughter. It's all of you that make this life worth living. It's all of you that make me want to keep growing, keep going, keep getting stronger and better. It's all of you that fill my heart and mind. I am beautiful not because of myself, but because of you. Each of you. I can't even start to list names or initials, for fear I'd leave someone out. Or, at the least, make this entry far longer than anyone could sit through. You know who you are. (If you're reading this, and you think it's not you, think again. It's you.)
Friday October 28, 2008 03:02 PM PDT I don't really know if I'm included ... but know this, if you could see you through my eyes, it would take your breath away, literally make you gasp and it you would make you smile from your heart. That's how I see you.
I'm gratified to know that you have people in your life that reflect your true light.